Introduction to Dating Disasters

There are some things that you simply must not do when it comes to approaching, seducing and dating women. In fact, some of the 10 Dating Don’ts listed here are Don’ts in general in life in whatever situation you are in.

So take heed that you need to cast a critical eye over  yourself and the girls that you are going to meet to save yourself a lot of failures and heartache in the long run.

Of course there are always exceptions to the rules and I am  sure that some people have broken almost every rule in  this article and are blissfully married and having their  diamond anniversary, but for the rest of us, stick to  the rules!

So, let’s go ahead and see where most guys out there are making 95% of their mistakes.

Bad Body Language

You’ve got to look cool and relaxed, but not overconfident or arrogant. Watch interviews with people like Tom Cruise, Christian Bale and Colin Farrell and study how they sit, react to questions and talk to get an idea.

Never give yourself fully to a girl before they have earned it and deserve it. When walking up to a girl don’t give them all of your body language straight away (this was covered in-depth in the “Successful Dating Techniques from START TO FINISH” book). Only turn to face them fully as a reward when they have done something you like and remember to turn away again if they do something you don’t like.

Try not to fidget too much and if you are not sure or feel nervous relax your hand gestures and keep them to a minimum. Don’t jump about or hop from foot to foot nervously. Relax your head neck and shoulders, place your feet firmly more than shoulder width apart and take in nice deep breaths especially before you go to speak.

Strong body language = Alpha Maleness

Seeking Approval

This is more for when you are actually dating, but some guys are doing this right from the beginning and it stinks of neediness, insecurity and desperation. All bad.

Some guys seem to constantly seek the approval of the girls they are with. You know, like constantly checking that they are OK, that they like the bar they have taken them to, that she likes the clothes they are wearing, that the meal is alright, just constantly checking for and needing their approval .

Now I’m not saying that you ignore the girls needs, not at all, in fact on the contrary, but don’t feel the need to second guess her wishes and desires AND THEN ask them if you got it right or not all the time!

Remember, a girl WANTS you to be in charge, take control and be the alpha male, confident in your decisions and actions. Girls don’t want to have to constantly reassure you that you are doing things correctly.

Trust your instincts, lead the date, be strong and have fun. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what happens on a date as long as she is having fun, right!

Neediness

Neediness is the biggest passion killer for women and something you really need to iron out of your personality to be really successful meeting women. It is covered again and again in the “Mind Success FROM START TO FINISH” book and here we recap on some points and add a few others.

Hot girls are so used to guys falling over themselves to impress them. Buying drinks for them (when the guy doesn’t even know them), letting them push in front at the queue to the bar, even simple things like letting them interrupt the conversation you were having with your friend. If you let girls get away with that kind of crap and you bow down to their every whim you are putting out a message of neediness. Most girls don’t respect a guy of they are like this and it certainly isn’t alpha male.

Be careful of needy body language too. If you are standing or sitting speaking to a girl don’t feel the need to lean in towards her in case she can’t hear you talking. If she can’t hear you tell her to move closer or pull her in towards you, never lean in towards her, or anyone else for that matter.

If they ask you to take a photo of them with their friends decline or pass the camera to another poor shmuck who will be all too eager to take the photo. You aren’t their cameraman and don’t go taking their empty drink glass like a waiter if they hand it to you to take to the bar.

If they tell you they are going to the bathroom or to quickly speak to a friend, don’t wait around for them like a little lost puppy dog. Go off yourself and make sure that you are chatting to another girl or group of people before she gets back. Never wait around for them.

Most of all, never ever chase after them if they walk away from you. With any luck you will get the level that you will know way before they do want to leave your company that the interaction isn’t going your way and will finish the conversation and leave on your own terms anyway. If not though, don’t chase them and instead immediately start talking to someone else or another group of people.

Not Expressing Your Needs

Maybe you are an assertive person and therefore don’t have that problem, but most men tend to cover up their needs from their partner.

Trouble is, not only do they get frustrated when their needs aren’t met, but it is so not alpha male it starts to make you look really weak and it can sometimes be a slow downward spiral for you from there on in.

If you are not being honest and expressing what your needs are and what you want from the outset, then how can you be yourself? How can you really have fun? And how can you be true to yourself?

The same goes for the girl, you have to be able to help her communicate clearly to you what she likes and what she doesn’t like and what she wants and desires and what she doesn’t.

Be direct, but be tactful!

10 Dating Disaster Don’ts Part 2

Sacrificing Too Much

Alright, guilty again.

You know sometimes you really want to be with someone, but you find out they have completely different tastes to you? Yet you still want to pursue it.

I know opposites are supposed to attract, but you need some common ground in order to have a fulfilling relationship. If she likes clubbing and you prefer quiet places, then you are always going to be having arguments about it and it will destroy the relationship. Even if you try and sacrifice your own values and try to please her by doing what she likes, you’ll end up resenting her.

It is good to have your own interests, like if you play football on a Sunday while she goes to see her friends, and she goes out on a Thursday while you have people round etc. But if your core activities differ, things that you are supposed to be doing together, then you are not setting yourself up for a long and successful relationship.

Looking Insecure

You should be able to just talk about what you feel like without having to forward-think your train of conversation or the answers to her questions. If you feel secure you should be able to have a laugh, make some jokes and state the facts about you and things that have happened to you without any concerns.

Become aware of when you start to get that nervous, insecure feeling (probably in your stomach or across your shoulders or in the back of your throat) and then start to talk too fast or constantly saying, “yeah”, “right” or “you know what I mean?” at the end of every sentence. These are sure signs of insecurity and you are trying to get validation (from someone you probably don’t even know!) and are worried that they aren’t listening to you or are going to get bored listening to you.

Be careful too that you don’t find yourself repeating yourself or talking too loudly (to the point of shouting) just to be sure you are being heard. Never feel you have to repeat what you have said if someone didn’t listen or if the conversation was broken for some reason. Trying desperately to get back to what you were talking about makes you look needy and insecure.

Be the cool, calm, alpha male

Falling for Her Too Quickly

Have you ever had the experience when a girl starts getting all clingy with you or maybe starts planning dates with you that are way into the future, or worse still starts pledging her undying love for you and it is only the second date you have been on? It is really freaky!

Don’t be that person!

Don’t go ringing them or texting them a hundred times a day, even if they are happy to do it back. Don’t go planning a summer holiday together and yet you have only just met them.

Not cool and very needy.

Ignoring the Warning Signs

This stems from not wanting to ruin what you have, or refusing to admit the truth and hoping that it was one off situation, etc.

Cracks are where you experience something that gives you a warning sign that something could be lurking about to come up and bite you later in the relationship!

We’ve all met or know a “bunny boiler”. We have all met or know the girl that is so hot and every guys wants her, but behind closed doors she is a complete “whacho” who will turn your life of bliss into a hell at any given moment.

They don’t all have to be whack jobs either. There are beautiful, gorgeous bigots, hot and sexy manic depressives and virgin like alcoholics.

Look for the signs like, you see them verbally abusing a waiter… that is a crack. You catch them kicking their dog or their cat… that is a crack. Don’t be tempted to think these things are one offs in your eagerness not to ‘ruin’ a good thing with a hot, sexy chick.

Don’t always jump the gun at the first sign of trouble, but become more wary and look for patterns. It could save you a lot of grief further down the line.

Ignore the warning signs at your own peril.

Discussing Your Ex

Does this need to be mentioned? Hell yeah. How many times do I hear friends or girlfriends talking about someone they know who just bangs on about their exes all the time.

If you are not over your ex, you shouldn’t be out there dating because all you are going to do is make things worse for yourself by blowing every opportunity you get.

Oh and if she keeps mentioning her ex then you may want to tell her that she may have unresolved issues she needs to sort.

And, but the way, that would also be a “warning sign”!

Trying to Buy Her Love

So you’ve taken her out for an expensive meal, bought her an expensive gift, you have treated her like a princess, yet she leaves you for someone who doesn’t do any of that, what went wrong?

Well, if you don’t already know that, then you need to read The Secret to Dating Success, From Start to Finish Series of Books.

10 Dating Disaster Don’ts Part 1

Here are some more great cunnilingus tips for people who are really unsure of what to do when giving a girl oral sex. As the title says, you use your tongue like a paintbrush and her pussy and clitoris as the canvass to paint an abstract work of orgasmic art like Picasso.

Try painting different pictures with your tongue across her pussy and clitoris using your imagination. Try painting erotic images and even what you would imagine an orgasm for her, or even for you, to look like if you were to paint it. You will be amazed at how a different “intention” will affect her sexual enjoyment in different ways.

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Another good tip on how to give a girl oral sex when using your tongue as a paintbrush is to imagine changing the size of the brush and the texture of the brush. If you are already an artist you can convey this feeling into the shape, texture and firmness of your tongue thereby giving her different sensations and experiences. And why stop with just paintbrushes? There are lots of other items that you could imagine using to create variety and expand her oral sex experience.

Don’t stop with Picasso either. If you like graffiti, try that, in fact try anything that comes to mind. Just be sure as you are doing it you are aware of her reaction and responses so you know you are giving good cunnilingus and can work longer and paint more of the bits she enjoys.

You might want to expand the canvass as well to her entire body. I don’t mean lick her whole body with your tongue, but you could use your hands to create art all over her while licking her pussy.

The best way for a PUA to learn how to oral sex a girl if you are not sure what to do or how she likes it is by watching her in action bringing herself to orgasm. Watching how your partner makes herself come is great fun, sexy, stimulating and educational at the same time, but you will also get a first hand and direct view of what she is doing and what she does that will probably explain more than any book or video.

Although what you are going to do with your tongue, lips, mouth, hands and body and how you are going to do it is going to be a very different experience for her compared to how she pleasures herself, you can get some good ideas.

You will see how fast she likes it, which areas of her clitoris and vagina she likes to stimulate and touch and how, whether she likes to touch any other parts of her body that may turn her on during it and even a sense of the energy/passion/enthusiasm that she might like you to put into it when you are giving her oral sex.

Of course you will find it difficult to reproduce it the same as she does it, but you can even learn all her non-verbal cues that will help you when you are doing it and give you a few tips for cunnilingus success with her.

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You will discover her cycles as she brings herself from the beginning of the sexual cycle right through to orgasm and post orgasm. That should give you a great starting point to know how long she likes to take and enjoy each stage.

For instance, when she makes herself come, she may spend 40% of the time in build up and touching herself, 30% of the time working the areas that bring her towards the orgasm, 15% maintaining herself at the brink of orgasm, 10% of the time having the orgasm and 5% of the time enjoying the post orgasmic moment.

This “Learn How to Oral Sex a Girl By Watching Her in Action” article is taken from excerpts of my ebook-

“How to Give a Woman Oral Sex & The Tao of Cunnilingus – An Introduction“

You should also get a great insight into how long you should take repeating the same techniques and when and how intense you want to go at the point she is about to orgasm. This will let you know how long to continue with your techniques when it is your turn. Does she mix it up with a quick change for a moment to another technique?  Does she stop completely after she has come or does she continue in any way to prolong the feeling afterwards?

You can learn all of that when watching her pleasure herself and so learn how to oral sex your girlfriend without even having to ask.

Even the way she gives you oral sex is probably the way she would like it herself. What I mean by that is how she moves, the speed that she does it, the amount of foreplay and teasing during it when she does it for you and gives you oral sex is probably how she would like you to do it to her as well. This is probably just an example of mirroring and matching with sex.

So, in conclusion, if you want to learn how to oral sex a girl, start by watching how she pleasures herself and use “lead and follow“.

Please leave a comment about how to give a girl oral sex-

OVER 20 YEARS OF RESEARCH IN 1 EXPLOSIVE MANUAL

IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW HOW TO GIVE A GIRL FANTASTIC ORAL SEX, THINK AGAIN!

I’ve taught some of what is covered in this instruction manual for men and women on courses around the world and still find it amazing that girls don’t even know 50% of what you will learn here!

If you are not AMAZED at what is revealed in these pages or believe you already knew EVERYTHING that is in this manual on how to give a girl oral sex, then I will happily refund all of your money back to you, no questions asked.

Purchase Your Copy Today

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I’ve spent over 20 years studying the art of giving as girl oral sex, or cunnilingus, and have put all of the best bits together in this 50 page instruction manual.

It isn’t full of anatomy and physiology like a lot of books on the subject of oral sex that are out there and I don’t just waffle on and on with nothing more than theory using fancy, flowery words.

This manual dispels myths and explains -

• Why you should be careful of advice you can find in bookshops on oral sex
• Why you shouldn’t read what they write in magazines about oral sex
• Why you shouldn’t listen to your friends or family
• I’ll explain why there is so little information on the subject and all this is based on scientific research and studies. From this you will start to understand why and where many guys and girls out there are going wrong and why it isn’t their fault.

This manual tells you STEP BY STEP what to do in as few words as possible.

• You will learn exactly how to know how your partner wants to be given oral sex.
• You will learn how to build her sexual energy up so that when you do go to give her oral sex it will feel amazing to her and make her orgasms much more powerful.
• You will learn the specific techniques you need to give her the best oral sex she has ever had.
• You will learn the ones that work best for her, why they work best and how to do them correctly to make you a strong, masterful lover in her eyes.

MAYBE YOU THINK YOU KNOW ALL THIS ALREADY, BUT I GUARANTEE YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING NEW.

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Some of these techniques you will never read in any books on sex or oral sex.

One of the techniques I explain I only learned after reading a medical research paper and yet it immediately improves the sensation of cunnilingus for a girl that is off the chart and through the roof. Unless you have read that research paper maybe you will NEVER EVER KNOW HOW DO IT.

You’ll learn some rules about the proper speed, duration and correct amount of force to apply to a girl when giving her oral sex so you have a guiding rule to work from to allow you to then confidently develop your own styles.

You’ll learn how to read her signals so you know if what you are doing works and measure your success.

I’ll give you some tips on using foodstuff, toys, vibrators and how to involve taboo areas like the anus in your oral sex routines in a responsible manner that makes you look sensitive and an alpha male at the same time.

If you haven’t already tried them you might learn some really good new positions to try that are comfortable enough so you can give prolonged oral sex and leave your hands free to stimulate her in other ways doubling and trebling her sexual pleasure.

Also

You’ll get a crash course on the g-spot, the s-spot and a point on the clitoris that allows you do keep stimulating the clitoris during orgasm and long after.

This is something that some of you guys out there will know is difficult to do as with many girls the clitoris gets very tender and sensitive during and after orgasm and they don’t really want it touched too much. Yet with this technique you can prolong their orgasms for 10-20 minutes quite easily and give them even more stimulation afterwards. They will look at you like a sex god and want you in bed with them more and more. You can also expect them to be all over you afterwards, wanting you more and to pleasure you more.

Why buy this course?

Well, it’s so you don’t have to spend years searching through research papers and reading every book on the subject to try to learn it, not to mention the cost involved.

And I give you a personal guarantee, if you already know all the tips, trick and techniques I explain in this book, you can contact me for a full refund.

I can’t be fairer than that and I’m confident some of the things you learn in this manual will be revelations and change your sex life forever.

You can guarantee that the girl you meet or are dating will never have experienced some of what you will learn in this manual ever before.

Enjoy

Jay out.

This may seem obvious to guys who are dancers or who have natural rhythm, but keeping in rhythm to a beat whilst making to love a woman or giving oral sex to a girl works really well. Moving in time with your partner to a rhythm also helps create rapport and a deeper connection, draws you both into the moment and helps you set the length of time and speed of your technique. Also, you can follow the tempo and lilt of the music as it changes, adding a nice variation and driving her wild. Why do you think dancers are so sexy and lusted after? Maybe it isn´t just for their flexibility and bodies.

Check out my ebook-

“How to Give a Girl Fantastic Oral Sex“

Interestingly, the use of a slow and “hypnotic” rhythm is one of the most powerful ways to lull a person into a state of deep relaxation and trance and it is during deep states of relaxation and trance a hypnotist will suggest to someone better ways of feeling and thinking. If you have the trust of your partner you too can use this to direct her towards orgasm and other enjoyable states much easier.

Read this article on oral sex tips- How to Give a Girl Oral Sex By Using Lead and Follow

In films they use music and the beat of the music in the background to create powerfully charged movie scenes and have people on the edge of their seats or jumping out of them in fright on command. So just like the best Hollywood movie directors, you want to lull your partner into a state of hypnotic trance and relaxation with the music and your rhythm. Use it to create a great story with crescendos and suspense, a beginning, middle and fabulous ending that leaves her panting with exhilaration and desperate for the sequel.

Learning how to give girls great oral sex requires, practice, dedication and imagination.

Have you ever seen a cat play with a piece of string? It is amazing how entertained you can keep a cat just with a piece of string. Dangle it and then pull it away just before it manages to grab it. Dangle it, pull it away, dangle it, and pull it away. Over and over and the cat never gets bored.

However, as soon as you let the cat get the string, or the string doesn’t move, the cat will get bored and forget about the string within about 5 seconds. It is often said that girls are like the feline creature by nature and therefore that may be why they also love the dangle and pull game.

Pickup artists have texting and phoning rules (phone game and text game) that include the dangle and pull theory. The girl gets interested in you and swapping telephone numbers is the pull. When you don’t text immediately, which is the opposite of what most guys do, and instead wait a few days, then that is the dangle. You mysteriously turn into their “prey”, or a “challenge”, in their eyes and they instinctively want to leap after you to catch you just like a cat would.

Dangle & Pull in Relationships

The dangle and pull can be played throughout a relationship and even couples who have been married for years do it naturally. It is one of the spices of a relationship. Sending your partner a seductive text with the promise of a naughty evening and then making them wait is dangle and pull. Going to kiss them and then holding back and not letting them kiss you is dangle and pull.

It is used in more serious situations as well when sex is used like the piece of string and dangled in front of the person’s partner to get their way or to chastise them. This technique isn’t always used in an ethical manner and may not be the best way to manage your relationship as for many people, and especially men, sex is a critical demonstration of love to or from a partner. If you are then using sex as a lever you are not only manipulating situations you are also playing around with what may be the only way of communicating love to your partner and could seriously damage what you may have.

You need to have a balance of dangle and pull in your relationship as a good PUA. It is very useful in the beginning stages when you don’t know how much a girl likes you or whether they are playing games themselves. Don’t be fooled guys, girls have been playing these games since they became aware of the opposite sex, are advanced practitioners of the dangle pull game and will probably see you coming a mile away.

Use the dangle pull with physical touch and kissing. On the first kiss, kiss them a while and then pull away just as they are starting to enjoy it. Like the cat they will then want to play more. Become intimate with them for a while, and then just as they are getting to like it pull away again. You can use this at every stage of dating, sexual foreplay and intercourse, and throughout the relationship.

Try this one, when you are in bed don’t let them have sex with you to begin with. Guys are always too eager for that. Then, let them fool around a little bit and then pull away and don’t let them touch you again. The girl will go mental for you because she will never, ever have had that happen to her before. If you want to get a girl excited and more turned on than she ever has before don’t let her get what she wants until you decide.

Want to learn how to give a girl great oral sex?

Read this article- How to give a girl great oral sex by using lead and follow

Knowing how to give a girl great oral sex is more of an art than a science. There are so many elements that come into play and that you need to be aware of that until you get to know a girl really well it can be a bit hit or miss. There are even some girls who just don’t seem to like it.

However, if you have read about the “dangle and pull” method when attracting women and keeping them interested, you could quite easily use the same principles to explain an important part of great cunnilingus.

You see expectation, anticipation and suspense are all fantastic sexual stimulants for most women. They love mind games and “being teased” and you can use this to your advantage when giving a girl oral sex.

However, getting the balance right is key and that is where the art of being able to sense their “feelings” and “what” they are feeling is paramount to being able to pleasure a girl with your tongue, or whatever else you are doing during sexual intercourse.

This is where the lead and follow comes into play.

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Take note and tune in to how they are reacting to you before you start giving them oral sex. Are they building up to hot and  passionate sex quickly or being relaxed and gentle about it? Are they moving fast or slow? Are they kissing and touching you a lot or just seemingly going straight to oral sex or intercourse? Is their breathing quick and shallow or deep and rhythmical? Do they make a lot of noise or are they quiet?

Once you have an idea of what she is doing and how she is reacting by following her body language and observing her, you’ll find in most cases that if you mirror and match that when you give her oral sex you will be doing it the way that she likes it and wants it as well. That is taking “following” and great to do if you are not sure of what to do to begin with.

It really is important you tune in to them and become empathetic to their sexual experience at all times, but at the same time remember you are the male, or the alpha male, and therefore also need to be able to take charge and provide that element of surprise by dominating the situation and taking control.

So to begin with you follow their sexual pleasure and after a while you then lace it with domination and masculinity, which is where the “lead” comes into play.

Failing that, and if you haven’t already, you should just ask her directly how she likes to be given oral sex.

Lead and follow and dangle and pull are great to have in mind when wanting to give a girl great oral sex.

Questions about how to give oral sex to a girl-

Have you ever read any books on giving oral sex to a woman?
Do you think you know how to give great oral sex to a girl?
Do you have any tips on giving oral sex or tips for cunnilingus?
Any funny stories you would like to share?

Being a pickup artist and alpha male isn’t so much about what you do on the outside, but what goes on inside that determines your status as the leader in the pack. Strangely enough, the confident guy will tend to move less, fidget less, use less hand gestures, fewer words, show less emotions and generally be less involved or bothered about what goes on around him.

However, the alpha male will be ready for anything and able to respond to a situation instantly and know with a relaxed certainty that he will dominate the outcome. It is that confidence that allows him to be relaxed in the first place. This also helps him in dating, relationships and sex.

Alpha males and good pickup artists are “centred”. They have poise and a calm aura about them that comes from the inside, their centre.  The best way you can attain this is by knowing who you are, what you stand for (your values) and believing in yourself. To reach that is a little more complicated, as you have probably already discovered. There are a lot of people talking about confidence and “inner game”, yet few who can actually give you a step by step solution to help you get there.

It would require 1on1 training or an entire manual to get most people to a solid state of confidence and feeling like an alpha male in most circumstances, but as a guide, here are a few options you can look to try by yourself-

• Self Hypnosis
• NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)
• Psychocybernetics
• Martial Arts
• Meditation

There are a few more articles on this site about “Inner Game” and becoming an “Alpha Male”, but my advice would be to go beyond being an alpha male and become more evolved so it doesn’t really matter to you anyway.

Questions about being an alpha male-

Do you consider yourself alpha male?
Do your friends argue about who is the alpha male of the group?
Do you think there are levels above “Alpha Maleness”?

Playing games with girls is one of the most fun aspects of Dating and learning how to seduce women as a pickup artist. In a good way and not with any ulterior motives, but just to have fun and learn about people.

One of the best things I learned through pickup is how to have fun on dates and when chatting up and meeting hot, beautiful women. Playing is how we learn and not just as children, but as adults as well, it’s just when we become adults we seem to take the “FUN” part out of it.

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There are tons of cool games to play with women and the type they love the most are games that involve learning about their own emotions and personality. They love that stuff. From psychometric tests to palm reading to simply asking them about body language and reading people, it never fails to hook them into a conversation.

Probably the most famous game or pickup artist routine might be “The Cube”. It is ridiculous really and about as factual as any psychic reading or palmistry. However, it is fun and entertaining and the girls seem to lap it up.

Benefits of THE CUBE

• Elicits trust
• Builds attraction
• Develops rapport
• You can escalate to kino
• You learn the girls values (hugely important*)

There is more to be had from working the cube, but these are just a few of the reasons it is worth learning.

Learning a girls values is really, really important if you want to get to know a girl and develop a relationship, especially a long term relationship. In fact, uncover her true values and you can teach her something about herself that she, or probably anyone close to her for that matter, may never have even known about.

“Fantastic and exactly what I needed. I recommend Jay Silvers Dating e-book“J.C.